|
|
|
CONTACT
ProfileEmail ME! MySpace PICTURES
Christina and IREADING:
 American Gods: Author's Preferred Text by Neil Gaiman WATCHING:
 'Heroes' Season One  'House, M.D.' Season Three Archived Old Nuggets
current09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002 10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002 11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002 12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003 02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003 03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003 04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003 05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
  |
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Ahem... And how come none of the ladies out there have been emailing me pictures of their boobs? I'm just not feeling the love... Omitted. Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Where do kids learn this shit?: #1 My 21-month-old daughter Ezri was given Oreo's yesterday and without so much as a suggestion she separated the two cookie halves and began eating the filling. How the hell did she know to do that? Is it instinctual? No member of our family, including my wife and I, taught her the "correct" way to eat an Oreo. What's going on here? Is it genetic? Is this some psuedo 'X-Files' type of thing where through one of the many immunizations we were given in life, we got one that contained the genetic code that tells our human brains how to eat Oreo's? If so, it was probably meant as a joke and some sick, demented ex-government scientist who had way too much time on his hands back in '68 is probably laughing his ass off somewhere. It's all a conspiracy. Monday, February 17, 2003
So over the weekend Mother Nature decided to drop 26+ inches of snow all over the greater Maryland area. There are mountains of snow I could almost ski down in almost every parking lot, including my own. Shit, I've even shoveled a mountain of my own trying to dig the cars out. Ya know, it was really peaceful being snowed in with the family and not able to go anywhere. It was great to look outside Sunday night to see how many more inches had accumulated. It was great until I had to shovel out that mountain of my own so that I could eventually return to work. Fucking snow. Saturday, February 15, 2003
Who the fuck is Sebastian Haff? 
Just started reading Joe R. Lansdale's 'Writer of the Purple Rage' and all I'm wondering now is why I've never read his stuff before. Who the hell is this guy? How did he learn to write with such colorful (and gross) metaphors? He's fucking brilliant and incredibly funny. The sad thing is it took Bruce Campbell (of 'Army of Darkness', 'Evil Dead' fame), starring in a movie adaption of the short story called 'Bubba Ho-Tep' (which is one of the many shorts in 'Writer'), to discover this guy and this book. Oh well. Anything to get you to read, right? 'Bubba Ho-Tep' is the story of how Elvis Presley faked his death, ended up in a retirement home, met up with a black man claiming to be John F. Kennedy, and how he came face to face with a mummy who was going around eating all of the patient's souls by sucking them out of their assholes. Nice. Totally my cup of tea. If you have any further interest, check out the website for 'Bubba Ho-Tep' (currently trying to get a studio to distribute the already finished film) or order the book from Amazon. I mean, how can anyone go wrong reading a story that starts like: Elvis dreamed he had his dick out, checking to see if the bump on the head of it had filled with pus again. If it had, he was going to name the bump Priscilla, after his ex-wife, and bust it by jacking off. Or he liked to think that's what he'd do. Dreams let you think like that. The truth was, he hadn't had a hard-on in years. ('Bubba Ho-Tep') I know. It gives me chills, too. Pure poetry. Friday, February 14, 2003
33 days cigarette free. Take THAT, Phillip Morris. Thursday, February 13, 2003
Just when I thought my day was totally crappy... 
...I learn that there is a "Free Enterprise" sequel in the works. Now there is much rejoicing. Thursday, February 06, 2003
This will be TMI for most of you. One of my husbandly duties while my wife is breast feeding is to be available to relieve the pressure in her breasts should the baby not eat enough. If the baby doesn't relieve that pressure, my wife's breast(s) become as hard as a breast implant that's been stuffed in too small a space. In short, it really hurts and makes everything in that area very sensitive. That's where I come in, and let me just say that it's really not bad. In fact, it's quite good. Seriously. Wanna know what it tastes like? Imagine warm thinner skim milk that's lightly sweetend. That's it. It also has tons of good stuff in it. Antibodies, nutrients, protein, etc. It has so much good stuff in it that it can't be replicated in a lab. Formula? FUCK NO. Formula doesn't even come close to the real deal. Someone once told me that scientists tried to recreate breast milk artificially, containing every chemical and protein that a mother's body produces, and what they concocted was thicker than molasses. Amazing. And while I'm on the subject, what's with NOT breast feeding your baby? It's better for the baby. It's better for the mother (actually helps the mother lose the weight she gained during pregnancy. Seriously.). It's better for the mother/child bond. If I hear: "I know breast feeding is better for the baby, but..." one more time I'm going to fucking scream. If it's better for the baby there is no "but". And ladies, please forget the notion that your man will get up in the middle of the night to bottle feed. Guess what? NOT FUCKING LIKELY. My wife has midnight feedings down to a science: lay on side next to baby, lift shirt, navigate nipple into baby's mouth, let nature take it's course. There! It's that easy! So take this to heart all you aspiring mothers out there! Ok. Done now. Sorry to rant. But before I go I thought I'd share MY favorite thing about breast feeding: when my wife and I are getting busy, I always have a boob if I get thirsty. YUM! Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Getting my Gandalf on... Sure. I was extremely skeptical when I shelled out $36 to some Canadian eBay seller for a DVD bootleg of 'The Two Towers'. Didn't know the guy from Charles Manson, yet I sent him funds electronically in order to speed things up. I only did so because I had an email from him that guaranteed my money back if the quality sucked, didn't play on my player, etc. Still, he claimed there would be no problem either way, the movie had the crisp, perfect DVD picture in widescreen and amazing Dolby Digital 5.1 sound. The only thing it had against it were subtitles that pop up around 8 times during the movie that say: "For Your Consideration". Yes. Apparently burned from an Academy Screener. "Screeners" are movies sent out to Academy members so those folks don't have to schlep out to the movies like the rest of us. Because they're special. Jerks. Anyway. After asking a million questions to this phantom eBayer and sending him my dough, I was blessed with a package from him yesterday. And you know what? He sent me exactly what he said he would send me: A perfect DVD. Crisp, sharp picture and Dolby Digital sound. It filled my speakers with sound that reverberated through my living room and put joy into my heart. Yes I'm a geek. But you're all jealous that I'm so damned resourceful and cool. Only wish I had a theatre sized screen. Although the movie just flat-out rocks, it's just not the same as seeing it in the theatre. Especially that opening sequence with Gandalf and the Balr...er... Ok. Geeking out a little too much there. Tuesday, February 04, 2003
So sorry I've been gone so long. Lots has happened. My wife took me to a strip club on my birthday and I got lap dances. Isn't she great? My wife and I have actually been able to "get busy", but because of that mythical "extra stitch", the "horizontal mambo" tends to make her go "owee". My wife, me and all three of my kids have shared some sort of plague. A plague that kept me from work for two days and gave me a 130 degree fever. Bought a new car. Have been a non-smoker for 24 days. More later. |
BLOGGERS I LIKE
Eddie's Turned ProUpright Video What Jeff Killed The Suburbs Are Killing Us Thornton Melon Dan Dorman on Film Total Nutjob Killbunnie 23 The House of D Bmore Bitch COOL-ASS SITES
Neil GaimanThe Art of Alex Grey The Art of Craig Leaper Cyfar's Drawrings Ninjas! Nikola Tesla MTV's 'The State' The Clitoris! Magic Is Green Lego Maniac Starship Dimensions Shatner! Rutger Hauer GRATUITOUS (FREE) NUDITY!
The Best Web Page Ever!The Hun Every Celebrity Nekkid Simply Awesome Nude Supermodels MOVIES/MUSIC/ETC.
Dark HorizonsAin't It Cool? The Sopranos Trekkies Battlestar Galactica The Upwelling Tool A Perfect Circle The Digital Bits GET INVOLVED!
Han shoots first.Impeach W. Freeway Blogger Michael Moore Howard Stern Free the WM3 GO SHOPPING
The AmazonDVD Empire Big Bad Toy Store Fleshlight Get Yer Spank On Spank Away LoveSac Minty Ass MARYLAND FUN
McDoogalsRendezvous JUST IN CASE
Industry EmploymentFor Weary Travellers Naughty Night Life |
 |
