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Friday, April 23, 2004

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the "Hot Chicks Room" concept, I must explain that it was a skit from the very first episode of 'Upright Citizens Brigade'. I'm fairly certain that was the ONLY episode I saw, but the skit is hysterical. The show reminded me a little of MTV's 'The State' (coming to DVD VERY soon), which was one of the most brilliantly funny shows I have ever seen. UCB pails in comparison, but there was still some funny stuff. Here's a taste of the skit:

Realtor: This is the Hot Chicks Room. The breakfast table's just over this way...
Wife: Excuse me? What was that room again?
Realtor: Oh, this is the Hot Chicks Room. It's filled with assorted hot chicks, who party in here 24 hours a day. But you'd be more interested in the kitchen.
Wife: You know what? We're not going to need a sexy chicks room.
Realtor: Well, actually it's a Hot Chicks Room.
Wife: Well, whatever it is, we don't need it.
(to realtor)
Realtor: Yeah. The previous owner installed the room in the 80's, and I'll be honest with you, some of the chicks aren't all that hot anymore. However, they are replacable.

See? Has me in stitches already. Click the box below to go to Amazon and buy the First Season of UCB on DVD. And check out THIS SITE to see every 'The State' skit ever!

Posted by Matt @ 10:00 AM |

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Settlement for the new house is a mere 5 days from now and I'm pretty fucking excited about it. I mean, I have absolutely nothing to be nervous about considering it was my brilliant WIFE that took care of most of the financing shit. I'm man enough to admit my shortcomings, and one of them is understanding money and loans and banks and all that numbery stuff. It makes my head hurt. In fact, I think my brain has a self preservation mechanism when it comes to anything money related. My wife could (seriously--and has on many occasions) sit and try to explain some concept to me for a good half hour and I just don't get it.

Besides, she does this kinda thing all day so I know we're in good hands.

The house is great. Needs a little paint in a few places and the basement has to be finished. Yay! Power tools and manly bonding with my buxom sister's boyfriend (yeah...I'd still LOVE to bang her--call me sick)! But other than that, smooth sailing. We've got the whole month of May to move in, too. So no big rush.

I've dreamt of having a basement/cave for the past three years now and I am so psyched. I keep having dreams of big widescreen televisions. Not plasma necessarily, but big (not projection...yuck). Curious about the new "DLP" TVs. Not LCD and not plasma (somewhere in between I guess, and only 17" deep). Best Buy had a 50" Samsung on display and I was floored. Razor sharp picture. ONLY $3500. My other, more realistic option is a 34" widescreen tube TV. Those are pretty DAMN sweet as well and a third of the price of that DLP. Still, 50" of viewscreen is better than 34", right?

Our next house will have the "Hot Chicks Room", I swear.

Posted by Matt @ 4:28 PM |

Improving to keep you moving.

Any thoughts on this work in progress?

Posted by Matt @ 2:29 AM |

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

So anyway.

I think it's time I change the decor around here. Someone recently commented that they like the site, but the breasts give anyone standing behind them the impression that they could be a perve. Not there's really ANYTHING wrong with that of course.

But fear not! There will still be breasts AND sex on Frankenblog...

Posted by Matt @ 3:18 PM |

Monday, April 19, 2004

A comment was made recently for the post directly below this one that really kind of burns me. Not what was said, but the fact that who said it didn't give me any way to get in touch with them. You know, one of the reasons I have comments is so people can tell me to go fuck myself, call me a jerk, whatever. The thing that's pretty pathetic and cowardly is when someone decides to go there, but doesn't have the balls to let me (and everyone else) know who they are.

And just so we're perfectly clear here: Anonymous=COWARD.

Posted by Matt @ 8:27 PM |

Saturday, April 17, 2004

My best friend's name is Shawn Joseph Douglas and tomorrow he gets shipped off to Afghanistan to fight for a rediculously vague cause and there's nothing he can do to stop it. He's been in the Army over two years now and for the next 18 months he's going to be in a desert far from home and wishing things had been different. (You may be familiar with Shawn as he blogs @ Darkwater).

You see, my friend sacrificed (unintentionally) almost everything he had in joining the Army. Partially because he needed to support a wife and two kids. Partially because his career was in the shitter. Partially because he fucking believed in the USA and in Bush Jr.

All very noble reasons.

Now, two years later, he's separated from his wife who said all the right things at first yet never followed through. One of his two kids barely knows him. He came to realize that he was lied to by his President. His homecomings were bittersweet and most of his "friends" had moved on.

I've been cynical about the war in Iraq and all the bullshit that's happened since several very fucked up men rammed two passenger jets into the Twin Towers and one into the Pentagon (and one into the ground). I've been overheard saying that it was possibly orchestrated by the Bush Administration. I've said countless times that no matter what we do there's always going to be someone SOMEWHERE that's going to find a way to fuck with us again, no matter what precautions we take as a country. I think it's a joke we're over there. There's just no possible way we're going to win this. There will always be terrorism, no matter what.

But now I have a face, a name, a loved one that's going to be over there, trying to change something.

For us.

Because that's really all he has right now.

I invite anyone reading this to give Shawn an email and wish him well on his 18 month journey. I'm sure he could use the words of support.

And to my friend, who I will miss very much:

I love you and I am very proud of you. You did exactly what you said you'd do and then some. No one can ever say you didn't succeed. Take care of yourself over there.

When you get back the strip club is on me.

Posted by Matt @ 12:42 AM |

Tuesday, April 13, 2004