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Friday, July 23, 2004

Eva Herzigova.

Fucking.

Hot.



PHOTOS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

I swear I'm going to spank my man to these pictures later.



I realize I'm most likely in the minority when it comes to this topic, but this is my site and I really don't give a shit if no one else appreciates it. A lot of pregnant women are just totally fucking hot. They get curvier, their boobs get bigger and their nipples get darker. Pretty amazing if you ask me. In fact, I'd say some women look BETTER pregnant in some cases.

In Monica Bellucci's case, she looks hot with or without the belly. Sexy as hell. Those of you wondering who she is may remember her as Persephone from 'The Matrix Reloaded' or from that fucking Jesus movie that came out this year. In fact, she's MARRIED to Jesus! Wow. Who cares? Look how HOT she is...



Thursday, July 22, 2004

I believe THIS is what's commonly referred to as "The Cheeseburger" and damn, does it look good.

For more, check out these galleries:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Let’s talk MORE about sex…
and a meathead fuckwad bouncer with an inferiority complex

This past Saturday night found me, the wife, Mark Barnes and the hot-as-hell Mary Anne trekking to wonderful Baltimore to go bar hopping. While I had a pretty DAMN good time, it could have been just a tad better. Mark was our guide for the evening and first took us to a run down Irish pub that played live Celtic music. Aside from the lack of attractive women at the joint, the place had a cool feel to it. Sure, it was completely falling apart inside, but they had Guiness on tap and people were guzzling that shit like it was water.

Word.

We then went to a place I will curse until the day I die.

The Ropewalk
1209 South Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland 21230
United States
Phone: (410) 727-1298


At first glance the place was great. We were having a ball. Drinking. Flirting. Playing Fuseball. Hot sluts everywhere. Then the wife has to pee and I walk her to the restroom. The frickin’ door is off the hinge. She asks me to come in and hold the door closed for her and I do.

Then there’s a knock at the door.

“Occupied”, I say.

“You two have to come out of there!” says the rather rude voice.

“Ok.” says I. “As soon as my wife is finished using the bathroom.”

“No. Now.” says the voice.

“Look. Chill. We’ll exit as soon as my wife is finished.”

“Now.” And so on and so on.

When I open the door (after all of 2 minutes in there—enough for a quickie?), I am told that we have to leave the premises. Why? Because we went into the bathroom together. And we all know what happens when two people go to the bathroom together.

I went from somewhat shocked to “Hey meathead fuckwad bouncer! Fuck you and your entire fucking family you fucking asshole!” No matter how I said it to the guy he wasn’t hearing it. He just wouldn’t budge. When probed about speaking to a manager, he responded with “I don’t have to give you that information” and when I asked his name he said “you don’t need my name”. Way to go on those Jedi mindtricks, chief! I called him and his dog and his family more names, gave him the finger several times and then split. Man, did that guy SUCK.

And now that I think about it, what if two WOMEN went to the bathroom together? Couldn't they be Lesbians? Fucking double standards.

We then met up with the infamous Angie Roberts and went to some asinine pub/club called Moby’s where I’m pretty sure almost everyone was missing some teeth. The girls there were actually stank-ho’s and there was a couple who STOOD on the dancefloor for more than a half-hour while they made out and the male half squeezed the female half’s ass like he was kneading bread dough!

No kisses from Angie this time so THAT was lame.

But the lamest thing about the evening had to be the fact that Mary Anne didn’t succumb to any of my sexual advances. And man, I was laying it on THICK. Since I more or less had the greenlight from the wife, I thought I could actually get a little sumpthin-sumpthin. And Mary Anne KNOWS I have always lusted after her even though we really can’t stand each other most of the time. I couldn’t have been sweeter as I asked (over and over again) for access to her poonanner.

I got nothing.

Zip.

Nada.

Why couldn’t she hook a brutha up?




Go head everyone. Be jealous. I have sex with my wife. A LOT. And I'm not talking once or twice a week. It's ALL the time and ALL the time it's fucking good. Sometimes, however, it's fucking unbelievable.

Last night was one of those times.

Last night I was a God in bed. I made this observation myself (in our co-ed after-sex shower), but the wife AGREED with me. Still, I knew without confirmation. This is because my wife was making noises that I do not normally hear her make. She was (literally) gasping for breath and screaming "Fuck me! Deeper! Fuck me deeper! FUCK! Don't ever stop fucking me! God! Damn! FUCK!" I mean, we just were going nuts on each other. Oh, and I was able to pull/suck on those amazing pierced nipples (FINALLY!). Shit, you KNOW you're doing a good job when your partner 's eyes are rolling in the back of her head. We finished with my wife's FAVORITE position where she lies flat on her stomach and has me enter her from behind. She can then prop her top half up on her elbows and turn her head to kiss me while I can reach around and cup a breast. I can also slap/squeeze her gorgeous ass from this position. Hot.

When it was all over, the entire bed (and our comforter) was soaked in sweat.

And since we're on this topic, does anyone want to share a particularly good position with everyone? I'm always looking for new tricks/techniques. Shit! Share your last sexcapade! Comment below!


Monday, July 19, 2004

(Sigh)  My new hero...
 

 
If THIS is any indication as to the type of leader Schwarzenegger could turn out to be, then I say hurry up and make this guy President!  I don't give a shit if he's Republican.  I could fucking care less.  At least he has the balls to tell it like it is and NOT APOLOGIZE for it.
 
Did you know he introduced himself to his wife, TV news reporter Maria Shriver, by saying "You have a nice ass"!
 
And HIS WEBSITE is hysterical.


Thursday, July 15, 2004

I really like this picture.


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Sarah Wynter:



The babe that will play Sue Richards (The Invisible Woman) in the upcoming 'Fantastic Four' movie.

HOT.

And of course, because it's me, here are nude pictures.

*Update 7/14/2004: Dammit. Looks like that report was crap. The (seriously) no-assed Jessica Alba landed the role.


She's not even blonde...



Two things I really hate, Part 2 of 2

Fuck these ugly little bug-eyed yipping rat creatures!

Although I did think this was pretty funny.



Two things I really hate, Part 1 of 2

If only I had a canon mounted to the front of my car every time I saw one of these monstrosities on the road.


Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I really hate feeling manipulated by a friend, especially when I'm trying to provide some level of help and support. For two years now I've listened to complaint after complaint from my friend ABOUT someone else. How bad this other person was. How terrible this person was. How my friend was so put upon and miserable because of this other person. Then it's me going back and forth and telling my friend that this other person sucks ass (when in actuality I said much worse). That my friend should just move on and be done with it. That this other person was pure evil.

Now I find that pretty much everything I have been told by my friend about this other person is bullshit. Lies. Half-truths and exaggerations. Fabrications. Pure crap.

I hope that the other person will be able to see past my ignorance in these matters and somehow realize that it really wasn't personal. I'll never be able to fully express how bad I feel about this and hope that you'll accept my apology. In light of recent events, I can see that I really have no clue who my friend is or what my friend's motivations were/are. I'm in awe of my friend's indiscretion, stupidity and dishonesty.

Mother.

Fucker.


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