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Thursday, September 30, 2004

Peasant's Quest!

You're a peasant. Trogdor the Burninator has destroyed your hut (and all of your peasant belongings) and now you want revenge. Now you must scour the land and solve puzzles to become a peasant once more (don't ask) and be allowed to climb the mountain into Trogdor's lair where you will battle to the death with "'Ol Beefy-Arm" himself!

This is the best game I've played in forever.

BEHOLD TROGDOR'S MAJESTY!

Posted by Matt @ 5:17 PM |

Monday, September 27, 2004

My sister called me this weekend.

She was all like "What are you wearing?"

"Nothing", I said.

"Oooo", she said.

Yeah.

She wants me.

Posted by Matt @ 4:56 PM |

Let's all get one thing straight right here, right now. Frankenblog is not a porn site. Never will be. I'm sick of the label. Were this a porn site you'd have 50 pop-up ads that won't go away and numerous solicitations for your credit card number. Fuck that.

What some of you don't seem to get is that this is a site ABOUT ME. Period. My tastes. Likes. Dislikes. Things I think about or occupy my time with. I share myself with all of you through this site. What you see/read here is how I am in real life. No bullshit.

Since I am a huge fan of the female form, I have tons of links to other sites who are also fans of the female form. Shit, sometimes I even post a nude photo or two BECAUSE I LIKE IT. A nude woman, IMHO, is not pornography. Were I to start posting tons of pictures of couples fucking each other, then MAYBE I'd think the argument had some validity.

Posted by Matt @ 4:18 PM |

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I'm usually not that guy who's into supermodels, but for some reason James King has recently inspired the one-eyed trowser snake. Still, can't really imagine calling out some dudes' name while I was getting busy. Wonder if her boyfriends ever think to themselves that they're gay. Click the picture for more James King nakedness.

Posted by Matt @ 1:25 PM |

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again."

Freakin' brilliant (and hilarious). Anyone want to tell me who the hell are 'The Greenskeepers' are?

You'll need Quicktime to view.

Posted by Matt @ 10:39 AM |

Friday, September 03, 2004

For Steve, who likes his naked wimmins to be armed to the teeth.

Posted by Matt @ 4:04 PM |

Don't fuck with Klingolaus!

Meet Klingolaus, the world's only Klingon Santa Claus.

CLICK HERE to go to his website, translated by Google, making it inifinitely more hysterical. Probably makes less sense than the (I think it's in German) German version. Ha! Those Germans...

Now I wonder who would win in a fight between this guy and Myhr.

Dude. Myhr rocks!

Posted by Matt @ 1:34 PM |

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Bladder Control Issues

Not sure why this popped into my head today, but it's gotten to the point now where I don't even try to back track my thought process. It's there for a reason, methinks.

Anyway.

I once had a girl pee on me during sex. Mind you, it wasn't on purpose (THANK GOD), but it was still a little "Uh...". Her name was Melissa Dolin. A name that ignites pure drama (this might be a little exaggerated) in my family circle. She used to date my brother Chris, so things were a little "I'm going to fucking kill you!" for a while. Then again, my brother Justin freaks out every time I mention that our older sister (Amy) is hot and I would so hit that. Go figure.

So Melissa and I are going at it one day and she's all "Yes yes! Chris! I mean--Matt! Yes!" and I was all like "Grunt! Ugh! Grunt!" We notice after a while that she's a little inflated. I don't know about anyone else, but when there's air up in there, it doesn't really feel right. So we pause and she goes "Hold on." and all of a sudden piss is all over my nether region. Seems she tried to queef out the air, but failed.

I mean, I suppose it could have been worse. She could have taken a massive dump all over my jank, but she didn't. And I am very thankful.

She eventually left me to go travel or something and I sometimes wonder if she's somewhere, out there, peeing on someone else.

But not really. She kinda sucked. And not in a good way.

Posted by Matt @ 2:50 PM |

The best way to market the Apple iPod.