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Friday, January 28, 2005

Yeah yeah yeah. I haven't posted in a while. I know. I suck. I'm sorry.

I'll have something new up soon.

In the meantime, go visit The Mary Anne Haikus. What I was once behind on, has now been brought up to date. This means that there are over 60 brand new, disgusting haikus for you to read!

I don't think Mary Anne (Dawn Wells from 'Gilligan's Island') likes this bunch too much, but I think they may be the best so far. Be sure to comment and let me know what you think.

Up next: A story about a visit to Ocean City, Maryland (the real OC) somewhere around the summer of 1993. 11 years later I still haven't gone back. Nor do I ever plan to.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

More moments in film that gave me severe stiffies

There I was with my two brothers and Celia and Mimi Ditrani. It was one of those evenings where we were hanging with the kids of the parents my folks were hanging with. But I wasn’t going to complain. The Ditrani girls were cute. Anyway, we were just being the pre-pubescent kids we were (I’m sure I was barely 12) when the girls asked if we’d like to see a movie. We were totally cool with the idea. But what were we going to watch? Star Wars? Indiana Jones? The girls went down a list. We were saying "no" to everything. Finally they ended with 'Trading Places'. According to Celia and Mimi, 'Trading Places' had a couple of "nudities" in it.

Quicker than lightning, the hands of three young boys went up, followed by cheers of delight. 'Trading Places' it was.



This movie made me fall in love with Jamie Lee Curtis for all time. Say what you will. I know about all the hermaphrodite rumors. They don’t phase me. With a rack like that does it even really matter? Fuck, Jamie Lee could whip out a dick bigger than the pecker of John Holmes and smack me with it repeatedly and I’d still be unable to pull myself away from her chest. If there was a top ten list of the greatest bare boobs in cinema, Jamie Lee’s are definitely on it.



I was also immediately stiff by this random girl (above) that sits up on Eddie Murphy's bed as he enters the room. She says some line. All I saw were her cans. I may have drooled, but neither my brothers nor the Ditrani girls said anything.

It wasn’t until I was in my teens that I realized how hilarious 'Trading Places' actually was, but it will always hold a special place in my pants heart for being one of the first movies to excite me so much that I couldn't get up from the couch for a bit. Even after the credits rolled.

Boing!

Hmmm. Maybe I should actually take a poll on "Great Racks in Cinema". Please put your votes in the comments below (or email me). Be sure to include the name of the actress and the movie she appeared topless in. I’ll tally everything together and post results at a later date.

For more Jamie Lee nekkidness from 'Trading Places' click HERE and HERE.



Today marks two entire years without so much as a drag from a cigarette. I thought this accomplishment was at least worthy of a little four-way sex, but the wife disagrees (although she IS proud of me). Perhaps someone out there can talk to her for me.

Thank you.


Monday, January 03, 2005

Happy 2005!



A quick announcement to let everyone know that my wife is with child again. This happens because we fuck a lot. It was bound to happen sooner or later. So come late July/early August we'll have yet another little one to nurture and mold and who will ultimately be mortified to even be seen with me in public when he/she turns 12. Of course, please stay tuned as I'm sure some fun pregnancy facts/stories/etc will emerge. All I know is that I'm quite excited that I'm going to have a steady supply of fresh booby milk pretty soon.

And the new baby better share...


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